But the feminine in you is so strong that we have to find a way to pullit out. Frankly I am surprised that you do not have any feelings ofgender dysphoria - any transsexual thoughts?..." Nothing like that," I responded truthfully. "At least not until now.I am having some dreams of being female. It is not want I want, it'sjust a dream, that I am not me. Is this normal? To be frank Doc, Iwonder if I am losing touch."I spent another hour on his couch and we talked through some of theissues. No more "regression" thankfully. That seemed to me to be thestart of all this. But what we were able to establish was that I hadfound a way to function, and actually function extremely well, withoutdrugs. He convinced me that my real fear was that I had learned that Ihad a female psyche, and that this was a crisis for my masculinity. Ihad to get over that and find a way to function.As I pulled out my card to pay for both sessions he told me: "Repressingfeelings can be dangerous. Let things. I asked her where she was hurt. She said that she is having a pull in her stomach muscles and asked me to massage in her stomach. I slowly massaged her stomach and she was moaning a great deal. I slowly began to lower her sari paloo and I went near her treasure hole but I stopped just before her treasure hole and asked where else she was hurt? She asked me to remove her sari and added that she will say after that. Now the fruit, which fell in the milk, is right about to fall in my mouth. I said all right and I removed her sari. She got up and moaned heavily and said that she had got hurt in her breast. I was very excited on seeing her in that sort of position with her breast near my mouth. I at once pressed her breast with my mouth and said that I will massage her breast with my mouth. She said that it would be great if I do it in her naked breast than doing it with her breasts enclosed within her blouse. She had not worn a bra. I hope that she might have removed her bra when she saw.
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